I've been accused of many things, but one thing I have never been accused of is giving my horses boring names.
When I choose a name for a horse I look for a name that stands out. Anything and everything can serve to appeal. Many registered breeds have naming rules or regulations. Friesians for instance have a letter assigned to a particular year. Some organisations such as the Jockey Club state very clearly that you cannot use names that are obscene, suggestive or otherwise notorious. Fortunately most breed registries are a little more lenient with their naming practices, often giving a limited number of letters or no use of numbers.
Very good. Challenge accepted.
Once at the Wolf Bros Show in Omaha back in 1999, I was asked by a Jessica R. to name her horse. The conversation went something like this:
"I need name for a horse. "
"What breed?"
"Stock Horse."
"Any restrictions?"
"No. Quick the class is going to close."
"Write this down. Bar. King. Spyder. Yeah, S-P-Y-D-E-R, like the car."
"Okay, thanks."
When the horse won his class the name was announced and there were titters of laughter throughout the venue. I nursed that bruise on my arm for a couple weeks, but it was well worth it.
;)
Another infamously named animal who was also at this show, was my mule, Effie. I bought Effie from Nikki Byler then of Good Shepherd Studios back in the mid to late 90s. We had met at Thea R.'s basement swapmeet. I saw the remade mule and my first thought became her name. I bought the eyesore beauty and promptly started showing her. When she won the longear class at her first show the room was suddenly silent as the announcer said her name: GS Fqinugli. Yes, just like it sounds. You could have heard a pin drop, then the titter of laughter began again. Thereafter she was called, "Morgan's Mule," or "Morgan's Ass," depending on who was calling the results. Effie has long since retired and her daughter, Sofa King Ugli, has not quite made it out of the lab...but one day she will make her glorious debut to an unsuspecting audience.
Not all my horse's names are in questionable taste. Some are sentimental like, "Annie's Song," an Amber Champagne half arab daughter out of Carra McClelland's late Arab mare, Wildwind Arianna. Or "Lady Sings the Blues," a black gaited mule out of Melissa Addison's late Walker mare, "Aspen's Majestic Lady." And of course all the model offspring of my own late mare, Brenda.
Everyone loves a sequel. Here are a few of the offspring from
Chicken Ripple, not all are owned by myself, although I did play a large part in naming them.
"Brenda's One Batty Chicken"
"Chicken Continental II"
"Chicken ala King"
"Chknsht"
"El Pollo Loco"
"Orgasmic Chicken"
"Tastes Like Chicken"
Television programs have given me wonderful names!
Tales of the Gold Monkey:
"High Stakes Lady" a DW HR Mule
"Matilda" and "Corky" both DW HR Donkeys
X-Files:
"Talitha Cumi" - a Fjord mare CM
"Herrenvolk" - another Fjord CM
"Irresistable" - a Friesian OF
Movies too!
Bad Boys:
"Skattadash" is a play on words from a line from the movie (the scene where they are in the club) as well as a nod to the late Karen Grimm of Black Horse Ranch and the marvelous custom glazes she had created over the years.
Sometimes the materials themselves offer up an excellent opportunity for a name. For instance my Cheval Friesian. He is made from a material called
faience which is like china, but fires at a different temperature. And with the naming rules for Friesians, his name came about quite naturally.
Other sources for names just sort of fortuitously occur:
"Whyteonrice," a Stone TB with the typically runtogetherlettersofthename often seen in Jockey Club registered horses. "Crane Neuton," a Stone Arabian so named for the commode in my parent's basement no reflection on the horse, just a cool name from a strange source. Others come by their names because they sound cool, or look cool when spelled different. Take "Tu" for instance, he is my Eberl Akhal painted by the late K. McKensie. He is the second of this model I have owned and when I saw him the words, "Et tu Brute," sprung instantly to mind.
Since I've worked on the phones in various capacities over these many years I've run into some pretty strange names. Some are just cool and I want to use them for horses' names. "Lippitt Amaury Profit" is one such example. The Lippitt part is obvious, he's the DW HR Lippitt Morgan Stallion. Amaury was this guy's name I spoke to when I was working at Gateway. I thought it looked cool and slid off the tongue so beautifully. The last part, Profit came from an odd source. In the 90s there was a short lived series about a guy who spent his days as a corporate mogul, but his off time was spent in a cardboard box. I figured my horse was going to be spending a great deal of his off time in a cardboard box...so...yeah. You see the connection.
Other notable examples of names and sources:
5th of Kevin -
The Grunt Brothers (MtV animated series from 90s)
Cinder Ella Stori -
Caddyshack
Kthxbai - modern chat room talk
Chief Mojo Rising -
The Doors
Damn I'm Smooth -
Beavis and Butthead (episode
Beard Boys)
The long and short of naming my horses comes entirely from having a odd sense of humour and not being afraid to push the envelope once in a while...
Peach Out, Apricots!